Every time you walk across the threshold of your house or apartment you step with confidence knowing from the history of your experience that the decking is rigid and stable. Most of us don’t think twice about what is under the framework that gives us that confidence – the foundation. To be sure, we know that it’s there but we don’t often worry about it because it’s just there. If we purchased our house we no doubt inspected or paid for someone to inspect the foundations closely and so assure us of its correctness. We purchased the house with confidence because we knew there were no foundation liabilities.
It wouldn’t have mattered if the finish work rivaled the Taj Mahal, if the foundations were irregular, not level or square we simply wouldn’t have been interested. Why do we apply this extreme logic to a temporal, depreciating, pile of sticks and paint and neglect this same rationale regarding our families? Before we hand our children to the indoctrinating machine called “public education;” before we default to the tutelage of television; before we lose our families to fracturing we should have the assurance that both they and we are set on a foundation that is both stable and defined. Contrary to what the talking heads would suggest to us we can have a solid foundation. Stability, as interpreted by our children, is what their little eyes and ears hear and see consistently in us. Do they hear us give thanks to God for the food on our table, the clothes on our backs, or warm shelter from the cold? They should be able to see in us the example of what we expect of them. I recently heard one of my children say something that I did not approve of. I was so thankful I was able to say to him, “If you don’t hear me say it, don’t you say it.” You, as a parent, cannot afford to be less than a shining example of morality, righteousness, and respect for self and others. Our kids will not respect liars and cheaters. They will not obey rebels and abusers. While they most assuredly will model our behavior, they will also respect or hate themselves for it. Our lives give them stability or instability – they will express themselves with stable confidence or nervous insecurity. Your example and investment in them will establish a foundation of some sort. The question is what will the finished house look like on the foundation you are giving them?
A foundation must not only be on undisturbed, solid soil, and wide footers, it must be square. Measurements from opposite corners should be exactly the same. Elevations of all the corners should also be the same.
These simple pre-cautions ensure minimal headaches later. These same pre-cautions analogically applied in the home will also minimize damaging effects. However, you are never going to be able to accomplish definitions in the home if you don’t have a measuring device.
Despite all of man’s efforts to better himself, he has not improved on the measuring device of his conscience; that part of mankind that screams the warning before doing something wrong. Yes, there are absolutes. Try building a building without the absolute framework of math. It can’t be done and neither can a couple build a home on anything less than the framework of right. Everyone knows there is a supreme creator who has created us with a moral compass that provides definition to every choice. Our homes must be a place where there is not only moral clarity, but where that clarity is clearly seen in parents; a place where blueprints are fixed and non-negotiable. As a parent, it is an incredible responsibility that you have to instruct your children of these time-tested and time-transcending truths. If you do not know them yourself you cannot impart them to your children and your home will not be a stead and safe haven. Children need a refuge from all of the chaos of our lives. That refuge needs to be your home. The definition that you have personally is exactly the definition your children will have. If when you look in the mirror you do not see what you expect of your children it is because you do not have eternal definition. That is a scary thought!
The current fracture rate of homes in America is more than 1 out of every 2. That simply will not cut it for our kids. Don’t think for a minute that a fractured home is good for kids. The statistics do not lie. Love is not a feeling; it is a decision. You and your wife decided to make vows and work through every problem with patience and tolerance. The last thing your children need is a fractured foundation. The home is built on truth that never changes. If we do not have a foundation for our family it is because we have not connected to the author of that truth. Connecting to God is not an autonomous or self-determining act - it is a corporate one. In other words, we discover truth through others. You must connect to a community of people attempting to live by the truth of God. This truth comes to us through connection to Jesus Christ. This ongoing connection to others (Jesus Christ) who are stable and defined is what gives us courage to fasten to the foundations that cannot and will not change. If we do that our families will experience the miraculous benefit of foundation. If we do that we will be the example of stability in our home. If we do that our children will have an inheritance that cannot be raided by time or chance.
Come to NLA and experience FOUNDATION!