When I Lost My Life, He Gave Me His

It all started around the time I was 16; by that time I was already in a gang and starting to use drugs. I was also the lead singer of a heavy metal band -- that should tell you a little about why I started using drugs. For the next ten years I was doing everything that your parents plead with you not to do. I was smoking marijuana, drinking pretty heavily, and every now and then I would use cocaine. I got to the point that my wife and children were going to leave me, and did. Oh yea; along the way I managed to find a woman and have two children. I proceeded to destroy my life and take my family with me.

Then it finally happened; they were gone; there I was all alone and missing my family. It was then, that I took a look at what was left of my miserable life and decided that it was not worth living any more. All the pain, all the guilt, all the misery and suffering that I rendered to all the undeserving people came full circle. I proceeded to the basement of my aunt’s house. That was where I lived after my wife took my children and left. I loaded a brand new 12 gauge shot gun that I bought for that year’s hunting season and put it into my mouth. With my finger on the trigger, I remember saying what I thought were going to be my last words. “Dear Jesus, forgive me”. Before I had a chance to pull the trigger He answered me. In what seemed to be hours of speaking (only a split second), Jesus told me that if I would give Him the chance, He could show me a better life -- but I would have to give Him that chance. He wasn’t going to stop me by some super natural power. Only by a promise, a promise that He would never break. I only needed to give Jesus the chance and He would show me.

At first I thought I was going mad. Was there something wrong with me? After all the years of taking drugs, was I finally losing my mind? No, it was Jesus’ way of trying to give it (my mind) back to me. You see; Jesus is a man of His word. He said He wouldn’t stop me if I wanted to end it all. He just wanted to show me a better way of life.

You know, Jesus has shown me a better way of life. He has given me 4 beautiful children who are my whole world; that I live and would die for. They all love Jesus, and follow Him. I wake up every day, a miracle of His never ending grace and mercy. I have a church (His body) that I am privileged to be a part of and to serve. I am blessed with Pastors and leadership that I humbly submit to. I would not be here today if it were not for the love of Jesus.

Well, it’s been about 8 years now that I have been in church (Baptized in Jesus name and filled with the Holy Spirit). May God Bless your path.

Your brother in Christ.

Mark D.

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